Stark, Raving Honesty

I avoid blogging here, sometimes, because of the amount of mental wheel-spinning I do any given week.

Having the tree fall on the house was a kind of a boon, in a way, because it was as if the universe knocked on the door and left a giftwrapped three part drama on the doorstep, amidst all the branches and pinecones. Instant and interesting post fodder.

Time for some raw honesty: No matter what I'm blogging about, be it Eva or Mr. Milkweed or the grooming habits of aardvarks, worries about:

I.Money and

II.Jobs and

III."Our Future" (house? more children? state of residence?)

lope constantly around in my brain like the anxious unemployed.

I count it an exercise in self control to avoid writing about one of more of the Unholy Triumvirate on a daily basis, because Lord knows I could. I try to put a positive spin on it as much as possible, because I always do feel better when I "put myself out there" in the best light possible, but I don't always feel like putting makeup on my posts and having them smile for the camera.

This particular post wants to lay around all day in pajamas with greasy hair, ignoring the housework and mindlessly eating chips with all the wrong ingredients, drinking a beer too early in the afternoon and then whining loudly about the resulting headache.

It wants to have to pee, but be too lazy to actually climb the stairs to do so.

It wants to see the Netflix envelopes ready to be put in the mailbox and sitting not three feet from the door, but not actually get up to put them there.

It wants to read e-mails, but not respond to e-mails.

It wants to "forget" to turn on the baby monitor and fudge an extra half-hour out of naptime.

Poor post. You just go right ahead and do what you need to do, because it's hard work constantly battling uncertainty. I'll just be over here in the more mature and rational side of the brain making a list of all the steps we're taking as a family to find some answers and move forward, but I want you to watch Extra! until your eyes glaze over.