I've had a couple of blog posts floating around in my head for a few days, but no time to lay them out. Mr. Milkweed's quarter is finally over and he's running errands with Eva right now, though, so I can finally clear the psychic space those posts are taking up.
I've made an executive decision to lay the bad out first, followed by the good, even though technically speaking that won't be chronological. Also, even though I've done it before, I kind of hate having a depressing / overly personal post just hanging out on the top of my blog for days. I try very hard not to wallow, and even if I've moved on, it's no good to have those words greet every visitor.
Let's just do the ol' bandaid rip off, shall we? Mr. Milkweed got no interviews from the applications he put out, and his-- our-- search for a tenure-track job is now officially over. It's been four years of mind bending highs, lows, and shitstormery, and it's time for it to be done. We decided this would be the last year after the last heartbreak over an almost-job-- the one that took him all the way except for the victory lap.
Generally, every year MLA hasn't come through for him and this has been the result, I've been angry and bitter and upset and overwhelmed and, after finally working through all of that, have pinned all my hopes on the next year. This year, I felt sort of numb to the whole process, as the greatly reduced number of jobs for which he even qualified was nothing if not writing on the wall. Still, hope springs eternal(as it should), so we waited to see what would happen. What's happening is that there is no happening.
We've seen this moment in the distance for a couple of years now, and we've been slowly sneaking up on it, step by step, circling it around from the back and sizing it up in all its heaviness. People around us who are close to us, and love us, and who continue to be very hopeful will undoubtedly find this decision hard to swallow, but even though it hasn't been the or even a topic of conversation with all of them, Mr. Milkweed and I have talked it absolutely to death. Whether this is what's right for us, whether this is the "correct" decision, and how to proceed have been as much a part of our marriage as Eva, at this point. Absolutely, positively.
And absolutely, positively, I can tell you that we are both ready to move on. It's time for so many things, not the least of which is for all of his hard work to be put to better use than teaching section after section, year after year, of brain-melting Freshman Composition. This job he has now at Branch Campus has been great for us in that it's provided the support and stability-- however meager-- for us to play the stakes for four years. The jig is up, however-- Eva's here now, and we'd love to try for another baby in the next couple of years, and of course there is the ever present desire to settle and put down roots and move into a house of our own.
It's time for what's next, and what's next is that he try for a job teaching high school English. It's going to be a bit of an uphill battle because he isn't certified, but it's a battle in which so much more is in our control, including where we decide to live. Every year, those envelopes would whisk off to U of California or State College Idaho and I would think, really? Really, is that where we're going to end up? Is that the best place for us?
As much as we love Columbus-- and we really do love it here-- we can't stay. The job market is saturated with certified teachers from all of the wonderful schools in the area, and he won't be able to get a foothold in this kind of market. In some states, though, teachers for high school English are in critical shortage, and it's in that kind of market that a school would want someone with Mr. M's qualifications to teach literature, AP, and International Baccalaureate classes**. He's also ideally situated to move up to a job in curriculum development in a couple of years.
One of the places that has a need for teachers is Virginia.
While it's not going to be as simple as sending off a resume-- just as a start, Mr. M is going to have to study the VA SOLs, put together a portfolio of sample assignments, quizzes, and essay prompts, and work some cover-letter magic to make this job switch sound positive-- I'm hopeful that he can do it. There are a lot of things that have to happen rather quickly for him to have the best chance, and please believe me that I've made it my full-time obsession to try and make sure those things happen.
So, you see, even this does of mud has a silver lining. We have a plan, and it's being executed, and it's so time consuming that by and large we're not even thinking about his giving up the dream of being a college professor. (Well, except for last night, when there were copious amounts of drinking and cynicism. Out with the bad, and all of that.) We're exchanging the old dream for a new dream, which will hopefully turn out better for us. In fact, I'm confident that it will.
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And now I'm too typed out to put in the happy post. Look for that later today, perhaps? For now, I'm off to get my hair cut, which means I'll be rocking the rare straightened hair look for the rest of the day. Fun!
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** Don't think I was born knowing this lingo. I owe huge thanks to Tonya, who has taught high school in both VA and NC and has really been our guide in making this career shift. She has so many excellent ideas about how to make this a reality, and we've got sit-down planned with her once we're in D-ville over the holidays***. in which we're going to tackle the beast of the cover letter. A job switch like this is a delicate sell, and we're trying to avoid the word "over-qualified" like the plague.
***Yep, that's happening. We're going to my parent's place for a few days after all, because if entering therapy isn't a good faith step in the right direction for my father, I don't know what is. He's trying to change, and we're going to honor that and focus on that, rather than what happened.
OH, AND A NOTE: I disabled the comments. This one feels like it needs to be comment-free.
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