OK. I'm due for a holiday de-brief and perhaps even a "2008 in Review," if I get all hokey like that, but right now I need to discuss something.
Second babies.
Today I had a few free moments and decided to check on a few blogs I used to read back when I was at work full time and needed a lot more time wasters. Yep, I'm afraid I was one of those people, and let me tell you that at seven years and counting with this job (which I still hold in a watered-down, part time permutation), I'm still that person. My bottom line is squeaky clean, but it wavers a bit on the way down.
Anyhoo, I was over reading the fine folks at Babble.com when I decided to catch up with Oz Spies and-- clutches at chest-- holysmokesWTFareyouKIDDINGme...she's pregnant again.
Her beautiful, precocious, wonderfully named son Axel is almost exactly Eva's age. During the salad days of early parenting, when Eva had reflux and wouldn't sleep and my boobs were spraying all over the place and I felt more or less bodysnatched, I would read her words and commiserate and compare and generally feel like I could breathe a little easier for a few moments. As Eva got older and things became more and more routine (and, as stated, once I was spending a lot fewer hours "at the office," so to speak), I stopped checking in as often, and fell a little behind with her corner of the Blogosphere.
Well, I'm all caught up now, and let me tell you I don't like it. Not one bit.
Oh, I'm thrilled for Oz and her husband, and I'm psyched to read about her experiences with her second pregnancy and look forward to her usual wit and insight, but can we just hold the heck ON for a second here?
Because who's ready for a second baby?
I have to tell you, as easy as Eva has been (and compared to the trials and tribulations of many of the other moms I know, she might as well be the Second Coming), there's no way on God's greenhoused EARTH that I feel ready for another pregnancy right now, let alone another CHILD. I guess in the scheme of things, Axel and his sibling will be 20 months apart, which may be a *little* closer than the "norm" of about 24 months. But even spacing my next child at 24 months out would require me to get pregnant THIS SUMMER, which is a thought too laughably insane to be considered. PREGNANT AGAIN ALREADY??? I just got my groove back! I've just now begun to figure out how to fit in all the things I want for me in a day (exercise, a shower, a little quiet time) while still making my time with Eva fulfilling and fun. Even so, this requires such an insane level of planning that Mr. M and I schedule nearly every second of our time together, and don't even get me STARTED on the crazy, pages-long meal planning we do.
I guess what I'm saying is this: these nearly 14 months with Eva HAVE. FLOWN. BY. If you're sitting there with a mouse in one hand and a newborn in the other, believe it, my friend-- soon enough you'll be back into your jeans and feeling like your old self and then the world will go and spin off its axis and somebody you know (even if it's just because you read about them) WILL BE BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN. And everyone will start to look for a riding crop in YOUR hand.
What does all of this mean? Why am I reacting this way? Is this just the beginning of "Round Two" for me, in which I overthink and overanalyze everything even remotely related to having a second baby so that I can finally, wearily, consent to give it a go? God knows I had to obsess for a couple of YEARS before deciding to go for broke the first time. And now that we're (literally) there, am I subconsciously preparing myself?
Or am I just absolutely ice cold and super cool with the thought of having Eva and her Potential Sibling be three years apart?
To be continued, I suspect. But how and when?
....
Did I mention that Oz is pregnant again?
*faints dead away*
4 comments:
i wasn't ready to start trying to get pregnant till simon was 3.5 years old. as in, before that time i would have looked at you like you were CRAZY to suggest me getting pregnant again. i knew i wanted to try for a second kid, but hell no not untill *i* was ready.
i think for everyone it's a little different. i think there are pain levels on every end. for me, having them 4.5 years apart is perfect. for others, that would be hell.
do what works for you!
At least wait until Eva is out of diapers, right? Of course, now that mine is out of diapers, I'm looking in that direction. 3-4 years sounds like a nice length between siblings. . .
1. No one is ready for a second child, or for caring for a toddler while pregnant. However, it happens, usually without disaster or being arrested. The fact that your daughter is not a difficult child compared to many is in your favor.
2. Happy new year!
Well, as someone with two kids 22 months apart, let me say this. I think it was a lot easier to have another baby while we were still deep in the throes of baby-mode and were thoroughly used to our lives not being our own than it would have been to get all comfy with having our lives back again, only to start all over at square one. The way we did it, we've gotten it all over at once. We'll only have to sacrifice to have one of us stay home with the kids for a shorter time. The kids are close enough in age that they enjoy playing together and share similar interests. And we're quickly going through all the baby stuff and getting it out of the house rather than having to store the crib, exersaucer, and Pack & Play for a decade. It was definitely challenging in the early days, but I'm happy with the way we did things! Just a different perspective... :-)
Post a Comment