For Hunter S. Thompson, the FEAR had to do with mixing too much crack and peyote with an overly-emotional Samoan sidekick. Or something. For me, it involves the fact that my world (and uterus) are about to be cracked open again in a mere 18 days. That's two weeks and change.
FEAR.
Am I scared of the surgery? Yes, I'm scared of the surgery. I know what to expect this time, but all that's doing is giving a convenient flush of reality to my imaginings of the operating room.
Nursing? Adjusting to that was the single most difficult thing I've ever done in my entire life. Seriously-- Gonzo hyperbole aside, I mean that. So I'm a little worried about that, too.
Eva. She's the light of my life. Am I really going to fall in love with another baby? He's incredibly wanted and eagerly anticipated, but our little family of three is very nice. Will our family of four feel the same way?
Can I really do this? Can I really?
6 comments:
As someone who has recently gone through what you are about to go through, let me tell you: it's not easy, but you'll be fine! The plus side for you is you know what to expect from the surgery and recovery (the recovery from surgery really threw me for a loop). Your family will change, but it won't be long before the new normal just feels right :)
Good luck with your delivery and you know we can't wait to see pictures!! Eva will be a wonderful big sister!
My main words of encouragement are to remember that every baby, and every surgery, is different. My mom was just telling me yesterday that her first C-section was terrible, but the recovery from her second one was not quite as bad. Also, w/r to nursing, I had a terrible time nursing Rose, who had a bad latch for several MONTHS, but George came out of the womb nursing like a complete champ, starting right in the delivery room. In fact, he actually managed to gain a pound BEFORE my milk completely came in! It was insane. I never had any problems nursing him at all, which was surprising after all the trouble--and pain--I had with Rose. So like I said, every one is different; just because things were tough the first time doesn't necessarily mean history will repeat itself!
Also, I can remember feeling the way you described before George was born, wondering if I could ever love another baby the way I loved my first child. But you know that saying about how a mother's love is only multiplied, not divided? It is SO true. The second you lay eyes on your little boy, all of those worries will disappear in a little poof of smoke. Your family of three is wonderful, but your family of four will be even better!
Sending lots of love and good thoughts your way as the countdown draws to a close... XOXOX
Having just found out that we're expecting our second I'm already scared for the future and questioning if I've changed things for the better or the worse for my little guy...
Yes we can!
The plus side for you is you know what to expect from the surgery and recovery (the recovery from surgery really threw me for a loop), keep it up.
I had a terrible time nursing Rose, who had a bad latch for several MONTHS, but George came out of the womb nursing like a complete champ, starting right in the delivery room. thanx for all this.
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