Eva took a good nap and I managed to get a few things done, but the hours before Mr. Milkweed got home dragged on in that maddening minute-to-minute way. Once he got back I took an hour to go grab a coffee and just drive around with no destination in mind, and owing to the crappy radio choices I'm still getting used to, "Songs for Silverman" came out of the glove compartment.
As soon as Track #4 started, I found myself replaying a kind of "greatest hits" filmstrip of Ohio in my mind. I haven't really had a lot of time to process our move, given how quickly it happened, and it seems that the ol' subconscious decided that today was the day for thinking over my past ten years out there. Thoughts of work were in there too, believe it or not, especially since I had to bite my tongue from answering someone's question while browsing in the local library yesterday. I've never not worked before.
But mostly, from a friend and mother I've known since graduate school (who has always been better than I am at keeping in touch) to the blogging mamas I'd started hanging around with, my thoughts managed to create a sappy Youtubish slide show of all the people who are now out of my day-to-day life.
If you've ever listened to "Late," which is Ben Folds' touching tribute to his late friend Elliot Smith-- who, as an aside, looks a LOT like my younger brother:
-- then you know how poignant the lyrics are. I just kept focusing on how even though I'm going to keep in touch with these people, the days of their daily or semi-daily places in my life are over.
And then I remembered a farewell party when I left my college friends in Harrisonburg to finish up at OSU, way back in 1999, and a moment when I clung to my friend C. sobbing (most likely drunkenly) "We'll...never...SEE...each other again!!!!", and I laughed, just like she did at the time. It was silly, since we've never lost touch and are joining two other mutual friends for a girls' weekend at the beginning of October.
I felt a lot better when I got out of the car to come back inside. It was good to think about those things, and a little emotional release never did anyone any harm (at least outside of reality TV).
Still-- I may need to resign Ben Folds to the Do Not Play list for a few days.
4 comments:
thinking about you this morning. miss you!
when we moved to rva from ohio (hooray for midwestern transplants... or... go bucks! if you're into that whole thing) my friends in c-bus kept telling me how badly i needed to make mom friends. yeah. good idea. but i think trying to pick up women in the diaper aisle at target would just make me look creepy. thank goodness for richmondmommies :)
feeling homesick sucks. i miss my clintonville peeps all the time. but the deep sad, the listening to nick drake and elliott smith kind of sad, goes away. besides, i hate snow. so that helps to. ha!
Morgan, clearly we are bizarro-world twins. PM me on richmondmommies so I find out who you are on there!
haha! i'm "hipmama" on RM. i know. it's a ridiculous screen name. i found your blog through one of your posts actually. i was the DT mod for a year and between that and "the sandbox" during the election i was a little burnt out. i check in now and again with the southside girls for playdates, but that's about it. i need to get involved again.
and hooray for facebook! woot! woot! i totally wanted to look you up, but assumed your name wasn't really cary milkweed. although, it'd be pretty rad if it was :)
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