At long last, a blog post has been percolating around in my head. Please forgive me for the long absence; as I was telling a friend recently, it's really hard for me NOT to talk about exactly what's on my mind, so when it's something I'm not immediately ready to hash out on the world wide Interwebz, I tend to stay quiet. There was something like a four month silence back when I was pregnant with Eva.
*beat*
No, I'm not pregnant again. I'm such a tricksy devil. Muuu ha ha ha!
So here's the question I've been mulling over-- when is it time to lay the notion of going back to school and starting over aside, once you have your own children? When is it too late to begin a new chapter for yourself, since your kids will be starting their very own, very expensive chapters in less than eighteen years?
When is it too late?
I've been contemplating a couple of things for when I jump back into the work force. One of them pulls at me very strongly, but seems impossible for reasons practical and financial, and one of them has me curious and wanting to find out a little more and is merely financially impractical. HA! "Merely" so.
I have to say that I'm yearning for a job that's more meaningful and fulfilling than library work. This feeling is running along a parallel track of yearning to feel closer to God, so that part of me tells me to hang back, pray about things, do some general exploring, and see what shakes down. What complicates this whole thing is the fact that Mr. Milkweed's job might turn out to be sort of dead-end-- we're not sure, since they STILL haven't decided what one needs to do to move even incrementally up the ladder, so to speak, and the longer they delay, the longer they have degreed professionals doing the job for pretty darn cheap. And the longer degreed professionals are willing to work for pretty darn cheap, the more remote actually paying them more seems, says me.
At any rate, suppose he has to go back to school? We can't BOTH go back. The student loans I have already are already quite the proverbial albatross, and, well, think of the children! I have this nightmarish fantasy that Eva will be accepted into the college of her dreams and we'll drop her off in a rusting bucket held together with string, throw a chicken sandwich and a few quarters her way, and yell "Yew keep in touch now!" I have another nightmarish fantasy that for the rest of our lives, the sole breathing room we'll have from living paycheck to paycheck will be our tax refund, 100% of which will go to wildly sexy purchases like new tires (check), a new mattress (check), and paying for another year of our home warranty (again, check).
(I also have this awesome fantasy in which we travel around the world teaching English in various Asian, third world, or former Eastern Bloc countries, letting the world be Eva and Silas' schoolroom as they learn to fish like locals or eat raw grubs from logs before they learn to write in cursive or play crab soccer. Unfortunately, I am far too attached to the occasional break that grandparents provide to actually defect, and I could never live that for from Harrisonburg, so this truly is a fantasy type fantasy.)
I'm sorry I need to be vague about the particulars with regards to the possible careers, but I really do need to be vague. So let me turn it back to the question at hand: what say you, readers? When is the time past to commit to something new?
3 comments:
Hi :)
1. It's never too late to go back.
2. Love your fanatsy about traveling the world teaching English! I think my husband would be on board as his current job is going from bad to worse. Not sure how we'd break the news to Maggie about not going to Kindergarten though ...
3. Mr M is at VCU right? I remember how my hubs got strung along with how to best move up the ladder.
Hang in there. :)
It's never too late. What seems "late" now will inevitably seem early in 10 years, right?
I just had this wonderful conversation with a lovely stranger sitting next to me on a plane about the importance of knowing what it is that you want, because it's only when you know what you want that you can be open enough to the opportunities that'll make it happen. Because I know you can make it happen.
Well, I must say-- and I'm writing this after I wrote the "Thank You, Interwebz" post-- it's heartening to hear you both have such faith that it's never too late. I don't know-- I know I said I thought it probably was, but you know what? I have no idea what's going to happen in a couple of years.
Skillet, your faith in me is humbling (and very sweet). I think what you guys hit on is very true, and I'm going to try and remember it.
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